Check out this article on WCCO.COM today. I couldn't agree more. Can you believe parents spend 500 PERCENT MORE on their kids today than just one generation ago? Yikes.
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Say 'No' To Your Children, Local Expert Suggests
"N" and "O" are two letters that are not used nearly as often as they should be during children's development, according to a parenting expert. The word "no" is also the title Dr. David Walsh's new book.
Walsh, of the Institute on Media and the Family in Minneapolis, says children live in an area where they are bombarded with commercials, and as a result too many are being told "yes" too often.
It's a syndrome he calls "discipline deficit disorder."
In his new book "No: Why Kids -- of All Ages -- Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It," Walsh writes a generation of kids has not heard the word "no" enough.
"I think a lot of parents have literally developed an allergic reaction to their kids being unhappy or disappointed. Learning how to handle disappointment is an important life skill," said Walsh.
Walsh argues that "no" is not only one word, it is also a parenting strategy that can teach kids to delay immediate gratification and pursue long term goals.
Many parents find that children watch television and immediately want the items they see advertised in commercials.
"Everything he sees, he wants," said parent Lisa Heeringa.
Walsh says parents typically feel guilty, and then compound the problem by spending too much for their children.
"Kids today have 500 percent more money spent on them today than their parents did just one generation earlier, adjusted for inflation," said Walsh. "I have a whole chapter on taming the 'gimmes.'"
Walsh's book, which recently moved into the list of the top 100 bestsellers at Amazon, suggests parents spend less money on their children, and reinforce that cutback by making sure their discipline is consistent.
He adds it is natural for children to get upset when they don't get what they want, but it's important for parents to stand their ground for their children to grow into being successful adults.
2 comments:
I truly want my children to work through disappointment and the NO word in my controlled home environment rather than when they go out in the world.
I strongly agree with this, now is it easy and does it always give you the results you want right then? Absolutely not. It's a long term investment, not a short term fix.
When I go to small group or am at a big event do I say yes more quickly to avoid a conflict...you better believe it.
If it's serious enough of course we will deal with it wherever whenever.
As my kids get older, I am saying it more and more...simply because they understand it better and we can work together to find an alternative activity or behavior.
So true! It's difficult when all their friends have all the latest.I catch myself struggling with this all the time. But as teens, they have now realized what they have to work for, the value of a dollar (and a splurge) and are beginning to see that so much of what was "in" yesterday is already "out" (and mom saying no was ok!).
It's great to hear other parents feel the same! thanks!
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