Not to step on any toes, but...
A new study shows that career women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat on their husbands, less likely to have kids, and if they do have kids, less likely to be happy about it.
A career woman, according to this study, is a woman who has a college degree and works more than 35 hours a week, earning more than $30,000 / year.
Check out the article on Forbes.
9 comments:
I love the fact that his article is based on multiple studies and clear, general trends, while the counterpoint is all "in my opinion and my life."
It's just common sense. If no one takes on the task of making a home, then the home blows apart.
The other problem with the counterpoint is that she commits the classic feminst blunder of causing the very devaluation of women that she pretends to oppose. She sees a person's value as purely economic. Her underlying assertion that a homemaker does nothing but, "Stay home, whine and eat chocolate" leaves no room to see the value of pregnancy, birth, breast feeding, nurture, teaching, shopping, cooking, cleaning, hospitality, growing organic produce, having time and life to give to those in need. . . and simply the stable, warm, embrace of a woman's home that makes her husband a better, stronger man, and launches her children to security and success.
Shame on the feminists for high-jacking a civil rights issue, and smearing everything that makes marraige and home worthwhile. I'm proud to be first a christian, second a housewife, and everything else last.
First, I think we need to make sure we don't confuse correlation with causation.
A couple of the things I thought were particularly interesting from the article.
Speaking of working women the author states, "If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy (Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003)"
"All of the work must get done by somebody, and this pairing, regardless of who is in the home and who is outside the home, accomplishes that goal." Which seems to suggest that the benefits come from one of the spouses staying at home, but not necessarily the woman.
Yep, Chad, I took note of that part of the article as well. And I think in a lot of cases (as that particular study shows) a career woman really would be unhappy going home, which I think is too bad.
You, as a stay at home dad, can offer us some extra insight into this study. The study says career women are likely to be unhappy if they have to stay home - but it didn't say anything about if men are content to stay home. I don't want to pry into your personal life, but I would be interested in knowing how it works for you guys. Is your wife happy to work outside the home or does it frustrate her? Does it bother you that she's bringing in the primary income? These are questions a family like yours can answer (though you don't necessary need to post it for everyone to read! Just thoughts for the rest of us to ponder....).
Coming from a home where I had to provide most of the icome and will have to as Tal finishes school, I have a few soapbox moments. I first of all love everyday that I get to be a stay at home mother and wife. Life runs better because it is a lot of work and to do it well takes tremendous dedication and skill. The price tag as some have said before is itself alone beyond compare to any salary paid to the average working woman. But I do have to admit, it is a lot easier to go to work. I ofte feel like I have had a break when I am there. But ever minute I am there I desire to be with my child and husband and house. And I see the little wear and tears on our family when I am not there. Not that Tal doesn't do a great job. He is incredible in taking care of Emma, but just overall things are healthier. This isn't to knock anyone by far, because it will be at least five years probably before I will get to finally stay home totally, but it is our prayer and desire. And we feel God set it up that way for a reason and we are excited about getting that in our lives eventually. No matter how hard it is to get there.
So just my soap box. And hope I did not talk to much.
I heard that the salary for a stay at home mom should be $130,000! Well deserved!
Well said Becky and Mary!
Audra, I would be happy to answer anything I can for you. I hate to speak too much for my wife, but I will do my best. I think she enjoys her job, but I think she would be just as happy to stay home. We, however, made decision early on that would make it very difficult to switch roles now.
I love being a stay-at-home dad. I will admit that it is tougher than I anticipated before I did it, but the rewards are outstanding.
It does not bother me that she is the sole income in our house. It didn't bother me when I was or when we basically made the same. We are a team and money that comes in is our money. She knows we have both worked and sacrificed to get where we are. I know there are some men who have become SAHD due to losing a job or other things they did not plan on. I can see how if you didn't value your work at home you could feel this way.
It is funny, but when people find out that I stay at home, I have gotten the most compliments from older women. The most negative comments usually come from people who think it is outside of God's plans.
Studies...studies...studies... I got studied reciently and realized that they ask these questions that have zero context.
If someone asks you if your overall happy with your life after dealing with screaming kids, a horrible day at work and traffic...I just might say no!
I was asked this question by a Harvard study. I asked them if the question meant my entire life, the last year, the last week, or today. He said, I can't answers those questions, it's whatever you think it is.
Right there I lost faith in any survey.
Hey Audra,
Just had to add to my husband's post, (which he doesn't know yet that I'm doing!) but I agree with everything that he wrote.
You asked if I was frustrated not staying at home. Sure, sometimes, but so would a man who worked, right, to have to be away from two beautiful boys? I think my biggest frustrations have come from the actual line of work that I'm in and not the fact that I'm working by itself. My job requires me to be "on call" several days a month, meaning that if an emergency happens or a parent has a medical question, I'm the one who has to take care of that. That is very hard, to be playing with your kids on a Saturday and have to leave.
The hardest part when any couple chooses to have one stay at home parent is that the SAH's work is under-recognized. During the first couple of years after our first son was born, we had a lot of stress in our marriage over this issue; the old "I'm doing so much more than you" routine. It just makes it a little more complex because you have to work together on defining your contributions to the household and how to best serve God, each other, and your children.
For example...Chad still mows the lawn--a "man" job--because the mower is heavy for me to push and I don't have experience mowing lawns. I clean bathrooms, because, well, I'm better at it. Chad does laundry and dishes because he's at home more and can usually throw in a load or scrub some bottles intermittently while caring for the children.
Speaking of which...that's to me what this is really all about. I am blessed to have a husband who is comfortable and capable in his current role as household manager (see Becky's post.) But if I didn't, I would either work part-time or not at all, to be able to spend time with my kids.
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