3.29.2006

Let me Clarify:

In regards to my last post about the man who is on strike from his wife, let me make these clarifications:

I think neither of them are right, but I tend to agree with the husband.
I don't think he's right to be on strike and be sleeping on the roof, but I certainly DO think that if he doesn't want the children in the bed, the children should be out of the bed.
First of all, in the soundbite I ran on my newscast today, the wife says the husband just needs to understand that the children come first. I heartily disagree. I will always maintain that spouses come BEFORE children in priority. Always. When you married your husband or wife, you made a life-long promise to love, honor and respect that person. Obviously this man has asked his wife repeatedlly not to have the children in the bed and she continues to refuse. That is not respect. In fact, by refusing she's not only making it clear to him that she thinks his opinions and wishes are insignificant, but she's ALSO teaching her children to disrespect him - "Daddy doesn't know what he's talking about." You children can never learn to respect your spouse and honor his or her wishes if you won't do the same.
Secondly, letting your children sleep in your bed with you is extremely dangerous, as any doctor will tell you. THE #1 CAUSE OF DEATH IN INFANTS IS BEING SMOTHERED/SUFFOCATING/CRUSHED WHILE SLEEPING IN BED WITH THEIR PARENTS. #1 folks. It's a fact. Letting your kids sleep in your bed is not a safe idea. Nor is it beneficial to the child, which brings me to my next point -
I think that woman is going to spoil those kids by letting them sleep in bed until they're as old as they are. Children of parents who let them do this will learn to only fall alseep in your or someone else's arms. They have to learn to sleep in their own beds, and I would argue at a very young age. I knew a person once who slept in her parents bed off and on until she was 21 years old because her parents never did anything about it. She was too scared to sleep or even be alone, even after she got married. The fact is that parents LIKE for their babies to fall alseep in their arms or on their chests. It makes them feel loved and needed. I think that's a pretty selfish reason to not only put your child in danger, but also set them up for a lifetime of having to overcome the fear of being alone.
I do not think it is an unreasonable request for a husband to want the kids out of the bedroom, nor is it unreasonable for the husband to desire more quality time with his wife. Any relationship would suffer without quality time alone, even if it's just for a few hours while going to bed at night. A person needs a place of rest, and what better place than the bedroom. A bedroom is not a playroom.
Nowhere in this article has it been said that this man is a poor father, that he doesn't help with the kids, etc. IT SIMPLY SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT THEM TO SLEEP IN HIS BED ANYMORE. This is far beyond reasonable - it's the simplest request and the wife just won't do it.

NOW...

On to the husband. If a man needs respect, a woman needs love. If a woman is not loved, it is very much unlikely that she will respect. Same goes for a man - if he is not respected, loving will be difficult. If this man wants his wife to respect him and his wishes, public humiliation of his wife was NOT the way to go about getting it. I'm sure she feels hurt and exposed and uncovered by the man who is supposed to be loving and sheltering her.

So I think they're both wrong. The wife needs to put her husband first, and the husband needs to stop uncovering his wife. Oh, AND THOSE KIDS NEED TO GET OUT OF THE BED!!!!

7 comments:

Stuart B said...

What an immature age we live in...

I'm sure I could comment more, but really, what's the point. People are idiots. Mostly.

Chris Good said...

Let me clarify my posting. You can still disagree. Nikki slept on the couch...baby slept in a portable crib like thing. I am a firm believer in no kids in the bed. So is Nikki. What I will not agree with his a man, going up on his roof, on strike during the hardest time for parents.
The stress it puts on the parents and the family is intense. Kids don't come first, they come second. But they fight hard for first. Their are times in a marrage when a child will get more of a priority than a spouse. The trick is to limit them to as short as possible.
Brianna comes in the room when ever she is 'scared' at night. Usually during a storm or when she has one of her night terrors (which really stink, but her daddy had them when he was a kid). She sleeps with us when it happens.
Back to the 2 month old thing. I understand why she is doing it. You get so exausted during those first 3 months, you will do many things that are not the best, just to get some sleep. This is where I am angry with the dad. After reading his blog, it sounds like a guy who is not trying to take on as much as he can to help his wife out during this time. I am still very disapointed in this guy. If not for his attitude, for not going off of strike the first second this became a Media Story.
There is a much better chance that this will distroy their marrage. The children will probably get to deal with a divorce. If my wife ever did that to me, I don't know how I could ever trust her again.

The Charlebois said...

I agree with that, Chris. He's being immature and I also think this will probably bring their marriage down, rather than help get them to where he wants to be. He's "striking" during a tiring time for a family. One of my best friends just had her second baby two months ago. It's still a major transition, and if her husband went on strike, I'm sure she'd be overwhelmed.
I also understand it being easier to keep the baby in the bed if you're nursing so that you don't have to keep getting up. I still don't think it's a good idea, though.

Ba-da-bing said...

I personally like to let my 27 pet gerbils sleep with us in bed. They are furry and tickle. They seem to need the security and what the heck, its a big bed.

I hold the line at letting gerbils bring their food into bed in their little cheeks. I make them spit it out before they can even leave their cages. I don't understand the sickos who allow them to bring food. Go figure?

The Charlebois said...

Stuart, is that you? :) :) :)

Stuart B said...

Actually, no, it's not. But they are kinda funny...

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