1.25.2006

Words Don't Come as Easily Anymore

Many of you have probably noticed that I don't blog as much anymore as I did in the beginning. Sometimes I'll go weeks before making another post. Often times I'm just so busy (I know: excuses, excuses) that I don't have the time to sit down and write...and then there's times like today.
Seems like I just don't have much to talk about these days. Nothing crazy, new, or exciting going on...no life-changing lessons or experiences to flesh out...its like I've fallen into a slump. I feel as though the creativity and humor and excitement have been sucked away, at least for a time. I'll consciously try to think of something to blog about, and nothing comes to mind. Then if something does come to mind, I can't find the words to express it.
Kind of like right now.
But it hit me today on the way home from church. Back when I first started this site, I was spending time with the Lord every single day. Even if it was just 20 minutes of reading the Bible on the bus, plus some prayer time, it was at least something. During that time, every little thing seemed to be a big deal, every beautiful thing a blessing, every lesson learned a new revelation.
Since switching jobs, I've found it harder and harder to stay in that mode. When you're waking up for work at 4:30 am to start out with, there's not a whole lot of desire to get up an hour (or even a half hour) earlier to spend time in the Word. I used to read on the bus, but now I drive in. I tried to read in the mornings before I left, but I just kept getting lazier and lazier and lazier...hitting snooze as many times as I could get away with before I absolutely HAD to get up.
So now, being as completely transparent with you as I can be, I've gone literally weeks - if not months - without reading my Bible. It's collecting dust on my bookshelf. I'm still able to hang out with and talk to God throughout the day, I still pray and ask for His input, but I need that "good food" of His Word to fill my empty spiritual belly.
His Word is poetry. It is life. It is creativity. It is filled with faith and hope and revelation. It contains the lyrics, melodies and harmonies to a thousand songs. Its a love letter bursting with romance and adventure. While I sit here with nothing to say, nothing to share or encourage with...it sits dusty on my shelf, waiting for me, waiting for you.
I'd like to ask all of you who frequent this site to hold me accountable to making this life change, starting now. No more excuses. "TODAY when you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the days of the rebellion." TODAY I choose to make You the #1 priority in my life. TODAY, nothing else is more important that knowing You more intimately.
Maybe you'll make the same decision.
And I pray that as I, by grace, continue to remain faithful to this committment, that you in turn would be blessed by the fruit of the Spirit flowing from my life.

3 comments:

Lori said...

Thanks for being transparent! I needed to hear this. I too am horrible at picking up my bible. I do a few times a week, but haven't gotten in the habit to every day. I too hope to pick it up and read from it every day! So have you read it yet? (just keeping you accountable! ;~)

bruce said...

Do not be weary in well doing.
Be filled with the Holy Spirit.
The fruit of the Spirit is....,
patience, endurance, long-suffering....
Amen ?
Love, Dad

Lynn said...

Why not snitch the Bible CD's that we bought a long time ago for JP and listen to them on your way to and from work. That's what I used to do when I worked. You'd even be surprized at the revelation that comes from someone else reading it and you getting to concentrate on just hearing the Word...faith comes by hearing the Word, ya know!
Just a thought...
I love you...Mom