5.26.2007

My Jesus Story

A couple services ago at church, my dad asked people to think about their testimony - the experience they had with Jesus when they got saved. A number of people got up and shared their Jesus stories, and I sat and thought about mine. I obviously grew up in a Christian home and came to know the Lord at a very early age. But - like most of us - my faith was tested as I grew older. I had to learn the difference between knowing who Jesus was and knowing Him personally.
My time of testing really began my freshman year of college. I was 18 years old and living in sin, though professing Christ as my Savior. I knew who Jesus was and I believed in what he had done for me, but I wasn't living my life for Him. I could talk the talk with the best of them, but the Bible says if you love the Lord you will obey Him, and I certainly wasn't obeying Him. And it killed me. My life was empty and meaningless without Him. I would cry out to Him in tears wondering why I couldn't seem to get close to Him like I used to.
I was driving in my car one day, feeling low and disconnected from God, when this song came on the radio. It was as if Jesus was singing it directly to me:

Saying I love you is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel

More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two?
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you

Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go

More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know

I had to pull over to the side of the road because I was crying so hard. All He needed was for me to start showing Him I loved him through obedience, not just saying I loved Him and knew Him. It was a life-changing moment, and whenever I hear that song I think about how sweet it was to hear God's voice after being so long away from Him.
That's my Jesus story. What's yours?

3 comments:

bruce said...

Nice.
Thanks Hun for letting us inside that part of your heart.
Love ya, Dad

Stuart B said...

Amen.

Thanks, needed that.

Grant said...

thank you Jesus for sincerity and truth! Thank you Audra for sharing that,
blessed,
Grrrr