Today, I went Christmas shopping. Not Christmas gift shopping, but Christmas decoration shopping. For the first time, I have my own home to decorate...and I'm realizing that all the things that used to be at my disposal, I now have to go purchase for myself. Like white twinkle lights, for example, or decorative holiday dish towels. (Seriously, have you ever been to a homemaker's house who didn't have decorative dish towels?) Granted, I'm not a homemaker (yet). But I am a wife now - I NEED these things.
So I set out today. I went on a mission, made my list and checked it twice: Christmas lights, tree ornaments, greenery, ribbon, stockings, candles...I think that should do it. That's all I need to give my home the festive ambience it lacks.
$200 later, I am not satisfied.
All the lights I bought for the tree, I ended up using around the house. I'll need about 3-4 more boxes of those. The tree ornaments somehow ended up in a bowl as a centerpiece, so I guess I'll need more of those, too. Hmmm...now the room feels kind of lop-sided, as though one half is decorated more than the other. Maybe once we get the tree in here it will help with that. I should also get a cinnamon spice candle, too. And a bigger poinsettia. I wasn't going to decorate the outside of the house, but now I think I will. The candles I did get are kind of drippy. Maybe I'll get some dripless ones tomorrow.
*sigh*...what is happening to me? I'm 23 years old and this is my first Christmas as a wife/homeowner. I'm supposed to have a 2-foot tall fake tree with do-it-yourself ornaments and silly string tinsel. But instead I blew $200 on Christmas Crap ($150 if you don't count the $50 gift card) that has nothing to do with the Reason for the season. I didn't even get a nativity set for crying out loud! (Note to self: add nativity set to list of things to get...oh, and a small light-up village.) At this rate, I'll end up like those obnoxious snooty ladies whose imported tree ornaments are so expensive she'd disown you if you broke one.
Lord, help me to not lose focus of You this season. Help me not to be caught up in the vanity of a home that looks pretty on the outside, but lacks the depth and insight of who You are and what You mean.