Not Me! Monday

Happy Not Me! Monday to all my friends and blog readers.

I only have a couple this week, but they are good ones.

First of all, there is NO WAY that I accidentally crashed into the side of our parked van while operating the riding lawn mower for the first time this week. NOT ME! No, I am skilled in the art of operating machinery, and even if I had found myself on a set course for the van, I would have remained calm, NOT panicked, and remembered that pushing forward on the accelerator causes you to (indeed) accelerate...and only by pulling back on it will you stop. (Duh.)

Aaaaaand lets just say it's a good thing that slip-and-slide only cost $5. *SIGH*

Also, it's not possible that 10 minutes into a very impressive fireworks display I had to rush my 1-year-old out of the bleachers, strip her down to her diaper, and give her a baby wipe bath because she had puked EVERYWHERE. Stuff like that just doesn't happen to me. (Details to come in a later post!)

Can you top those this week? :)