2.28.2010

Aunt Anita

Yesterday, the girls and I loaded into my parents' van and joined them on a week-long road trip to Memphis, TN. My Mom's family all lives down here, and her oldest sister, Anita, had been battling cancer. A couple of weeks ago they stopped all of her treatments because it was stressing her system more than it was helping, and the doctor's gave her 1-3 months to live.

We hit the road at 5:45 am. The girls did great in the car. The built-in DVD player helped make the ride very smooth, stopping just a couple of times to let the girls stretch their legs and get some food. We made it into Memphis around 8:30 pm, and since the girls had only napped for about an hour in the car, we were all pretty tired and went to bed.

This morning I got a call from my mom just before 7:00 am that she was at the hospital. Anita had stopped responding to my Uncle James and he had called an ambulance. Mom said her heart rate was slowing, she was unresponsive, and that we should hurry if we wanted to see her. I got the girls dressed and called my mom about 20 minutes later, but it was too late. Anita had already passed away.

Anita at our wedding -- August 2005
Anita was the type of woman I wish everyone could have met. She was a true southern girl, full of life, humor, hospitality, and spunk. She was always the life of the party -- one of those "favorite aunts"...you know, if it was acceptable to have "favorites." She was a skilled painter & woodworker, and had more tools in her garage than most men do. She could beat anyone in speed scrabble any day of the week, made the best sweet tea in the south, and waited hand and foot on anyone who came by to visit.

She and my uncle James were high school sweethearts, and had recently celebrated 50 years of marriage. Uncle James is a quiet guy, probably because he could never get a word in edge-wise when Anita was around. As a couple, they were fun to watch because she was so lively and chattery, and he is so mellow and laid-back. Please be praying for Uncle James. He doesn't have any other family.

Anita & Uncle James with Rae (6 months old) -- August 2007


The last time we saw Anita alive was in November of 2008 when we stopped in Memphis on our way home from Micah's military graduation. At that time she was healthy and undiagnosed. Although I'm very sad that we didn't make it in time to speak with her, tell her how much we love her, and say goodbye, I'm also relieved that a.) she is out of pain, and b.) I get to remember the happy, lively, feisty Anita I've known and loved all these years.

JP inspects the money Anita gave to him for counterfeits (after she lost a bet)
November 2008

When my mom broke the news to be over the phone, I was crying and Rae asked me why. I told her it was because Aunt Anita died and went to heaven, and I was just kind of sad about it. Rae immediately said, "But Mom, don't worry! We are going to heaven someday, too! We can see her then!" And she is right. We can say goodbye with hope, because we know goodbye is not the end. I don't know how people make it through these things without that hope.

Aunt Anita & Rae -- August 2007

Aunt Anita, there's no way to imagine what life is going to be like without you, especially for those who have been near to you every day. Your spirit & personality cannot be replaced. But your memory is what we will have forever, and you made sure to make the most of every moment, so that no memory will ever be lacking. I love you, I miss you, and I can't wait to see you. Love, Audra.


2.23.2010

Quotes from Rae

Dad (to Rae): "I wish I could stay here and sit on the couch with you all day, but I have to go to work now."
Me: "That's ok, we don't sit on the couch all day anyhow."
Rae: "Sure we do! Mom, you're just kidding!"
Me: "Traitor."

Fear of Failure

All my life, I have struggled with fear of failure. I hate failing, or feeling like I've failed. All through my adolescence (and admittedly, even now), if I wasn't instantly good at something, I would give up. The only exception that I can think of is in the marriage & parenting realms, where there's just no way to be instantly good and no option to give up.

I recognize this flaw in myself and I do (honestly) try to work on it.

Unfortunately, I'm now seeing the fruit of this shortcoming in my daughter, Israel. The most obvious instance right now is that she is afraid to color in her coloring books because she is scared of going out of the lines. If I encourage her to the point of trying, she'll give it one shot, and if her three-year-old hands betray her and that crayon ends up outside of the lines, she will instantly stop and declare that she "just can't do it."

She loves to paint, because in painting she gets a blank sheet of paper with no lines and nothing to restrict her. But coloring books are a whole different ball game. It's sad to me, because I know she has picked this up from me. I also know how much she admires other people's coloring skill and wants so badly to do it well. I explain to her all the time that just like anything else in life, coloring takes practice, and if we never try, we'll never get good at it.

I remember LOVING to color when I was little. But Amber & Micah (my older sister and brother) wouldn't let me color in their coloring books because I didn't stay in the lines well enough. I remember practicing and practicing until one day, on a road trip to Tennessee one winter, Micah allowed me to color in his dinosaur book. Even in the car, I stayed perfectly in the lines, and Micah praised me profusely. Funny memory, right?

I'm not quite sure what to do about Rae's fear of failure. I'd love to help her nip it in the bud before it develops into a hard-to-break character trait as it has in my life. I'm open to any suggestions, and would ask for prayer, too. That's what I've been doing for her in the time being.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?


2.18.2010

Dancing Princesses

Valentine's Day at Grandma and Grandpa Harpel's house is like Christmas. My mom got all of the cousins adorable gifts, including (for the girls) matching leotards for dancing ballet.
This video of my little ballerinas is VERY low quality, but VERY, very cute! You also get to see Ruby's pigtails that she's now sporting. Enjoy!

Beautiful

The other day we woke up to this "hoar frost" all around us. It was gorgeous!


The rest of Rae's Birthday

I am far behind on updating this blog.

Here are some more pictures from the proceeding celebrations for Rae's third birthday. On the Saturday after her birthday, Papa, Nana, Gammy, Grampies, Ava, Vinnie & Florie came over. We had lunch and strawberry shortcake, opened gifts, and played, played, played! Unfortunately, we didn't get many pictures from that afternoon.

Rae opens a Dora backpack with wheels
The next day (Sunday), my side of the family came over for Superbowl Sunday. Rae and Ruby helped me make a special rainbow birthday cake.

Rae loves having her cousins come over to play! Here are Elijah and Naomi (my sister's two oldest kids) enjoying cake.
The dress that Rae is wearing in the picture below is the "sparkling dress" that my grandmother made me for my third birthday. It was my FAVORITE dress when I was little, and it was so special to see Rae wear it. She calls it her "princess dress."
This is Rae opening up her gift from my sister & her family: a sleeping bag! Rae loves it and can't wait to go camping this spring!

And finally, a cute picture of Ruby getting some quality snuggle time in with Uncle Joe and Auntie Becky!
Thanks to everyone who made the hike out here to make Rae's birthday(s) so special! We love you all!

2.15.2010

Valentine's Day

My husband knows me all too well.

He knows that while I would love flowers, chocolates, diamonds, chocolates, expensive getaways to somewhere tropical, and chocolates...that's not what I need.

So he got me what my heart was really longing for.

A PARKING SPACE INSIDE THE GARAGE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUR MARRIAGE!

This is a momentous Valentine's Day. I love you, babe!

2.10.2010

Israel's 3-year-old checkup & due date!

Today Israel had her three-year-old checkup. She was amazing. She was happy, giggling, and smiling the whole time. We were (sadly) at a new clinic because the one we love so much -- AALFA Family Clinic -- is now too far away for us to keep visiting. The new doctor is the one my sister takes her family to, and he was very nice and very good with the kids. It just didn't feel like AALFA!

Our Rae Rae is growing healthy and strong. She was 34.8 pounds and 37 inches tall. Unfortunately at this new clinic they didn't tell me what percentages those fell into.

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I also had my first pregnancy checkup today, and the doctor announced my due date as September 10, 2010. I even got to hear the heartbeat, even though I'm only 9 weeks along.

Yes, we will find out the gender at our 20-week ultrasound, but that's still a ways off. And yes, we do already have names picked out, but we'll wait till we find out the gender to announce that, as well. Then, come the baby's birthday, there won't be anything exciting left to announce except the weight! :) That's how we do it around here!

2.08.2010

Not Me! Monday



This week, I am not going through small town culture shock.

I did not spend at least 45 minutes scouring the cities of Princeton, Zimmerman, Elk River, and Cambridge's websites looking for something -- anything -- to do with the girls. But if I had spent that much time searching, I'm sure I would have come up with an array of different fun, exciting, and unique local sights and activities to try out.

But one of those sites certainly would not suggest the local Pamida as a local attraction. No way.

I would not eventually resort to calling the local MOPS group leader and asking her just what local moms do for fun with their kids around here. And her first suggestion was NOT the McDonald's play land in Elk River, followed by the McDonald's play land in Rogers.

"Yeah, but is there anything else? Like, do any of the neighboring cities have community centers or anything?"

And she did NOT suggest Monticello and Becker's community centers (both about an hour away).

"So really there's nothing to do in Princeton in the winter?"

"No, not really. In the summer there are parks and stuff, but winter is pretty boring around here."

And my girls and I did not spend the rest of the day...at home.

2.04.2010

Quotes from Rae

Rae: "Mom, I want you to ask me a question."
Me: "Um, ok. What's your favorite color?"
Rae: "No, Mom, I want you to ask me what I'm hiding under."
Me: "Oh. What are you hiding under, Rae?"
Rae: "My blanket."

Rae's Golden Birthday!

Our little "squirt" turned three yesterday! Who could believe that time could go by so quickly. I keep thinking to myself, I only get to do that 6 more times and then she's gone.

We generally keep birthdays low-key around here, but G and Ava did come by with balloons, gifts, and cupcake fixin's. We also had fun dressing up as princesses and doing activities in Rae's new workbooks (which she LOVES -- thanks G, Bompa, Auntie & Uncle Scottie!). Rae also received numerous singing phone calls, cards, and e-cards from friends and family.

The festivities will continue this weekend as more of the family stops in to see the new house and eat cake.

Rae Rae, you bring unspeakable joy to our little family. You are so full of life and enthusiasm, but you also have a quiet side that likes to stay home, snuggle, and keep to yourself. You are funny and so very smart -- you thought it was hilarious to tell people you were turning "7" this year! Your favorite things right now include painting, dancing, making up games, and helping me in the kitchen. You love anything "princess" and love to pretend. There could never be a sweeter you, and Daddy and I thank God for letting you be a part of our lives every day.

We love you, Sweet Rae.

2.02.2010

You Might Live in the Country if...

You might live in the country if...

...Your address has 5 numbers in it.

...You have to drive past a Christmas tree farm to get to your house.

...You live near a Hardee's.

...The nearest Target is 20 miles away.

...Your town has a Pamida.

2.01.2010

"Not Me" Monday



I'm making my triumphant return to "Not Me" Monday after taking a week off to, well, get my life in order. It's been an eventful couple of weeks, but here are some highlights.

I did not congratulate Rae for going potty on the big girl potty, only to turn around moments later and find Ruby splashing in it.

I did not lose my dog for two hours on a blistery winter morning. I didn't drag the kids out of bed and pile them both into the van in their pajamas and still-wet diapers without breakfast to search for him to no avail. I didn't call every vet, impound, and pet hospital in the area leaving a description and a phone number, and I didn't finally break down into sobs when explaining what happened to a friend. I mean, it's just a dog, right?
Then -- assuming all of that actually did happen -- I wouldn't have cried again when the phone call came. Thank goodness some lady hadn't come inches from hitting our dog on Highway 95, pick him up, call a shelter and get our number. And when we met her at a local gas station to get him back, I didn't give her a huge hug, which seemed to be a little awkward to her!

And this last one leaves me feeling a little "blond."

Upon stopping at a gas station for some snacks, I didn't grumble in irritation at the sign in front of me declaring "Holiday Parking Only, Violators will be towed," thinking to myself "How stupid to have a parking spot you can only use on holidays!"

...and then remember that I was at a Holiday Station.

*sigh*

1.31.2010

Dear Kenmore

Dear Kenmore,

Thank you for manufacturing dishwashers. And thank you for selling them at major retailers all across the world (but especially in Minnesota) where people can buy them and install them into homes that other people will eventually purchase and move into.

And thank you for giving us so many options when it comes time to press "Start." Light wash, normal wash, heavy wash, sani rinse...they are all precious to me.
Your product has transformed the lives of people all around the world. You are making more than dishwashers. You are giving the gift of more minutes in the day, convenience, peace of mind, and in my case, bliss. I will never take you for granted.

Thank you, Kenmore, for making mother's lives easier, one dishwasher at a time.

Sincerely,

Audra Charlebois
Princeton, MN

More New House Pictures

Ruby's Room / Future Nursery

The back yard, as seen from the walk-out basement
The property actually extends far past the tree line in the back there, past the wooded area and into a field. We will explore it once the snow melts!


1.30.2010

Come and Listen

"Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me."
Ps 66:16

If I could fully express to you in words the magnitude of what God has done for us over the last three years...

...Through some of the darkest valleys, seemingly impossible situations, and loneliest roads...

...If I could accurately translate the overwhelming feeling of unworthy gratefulness I have in my heart for you to experience as your own...

...I'm still not sure it would do the job.

"Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what He has done for me."

The story begins in the spring of 2007. Israel Hope was just a newborn. I had just quit my job as a TV news producer to stay home with her full-time.

Do you remember how tiny and sweet she was? This is her at 4 days old.
JP had been working on a major condo remodeling project in the uptown area. Everything had been going very well. The client had been pleased with his work and had even gone so far as to give JP and his crew gifts at Thanksgiving and Christmas and crochet Israel a blanket.

But then she started running out of money. The project was over budget (by no fault of JP's...there was just a lot more work to be done than she had originally thought). I'm sure she was overwhelmed and probably scared, but for whatever reason, she decided to take it out on JP. She suddenly claimed he was overpriced, that it was his fault, and refused to pay him for roughly $17,000 worth of work that had already been completed, plus we had well over $10,000 invested in the project in stuff like insurance and other things that we would get back at the end of the project.

As you can assume, this was a major blow to us as a small business. How in the world were we supposed to function with nearly $30,000 less than we needed? We filed a lawsuit. And in the meantime, we survived on credit cards, and we (stupidly) refinanced our house and pulled out equity, which bumped our already high monthly payment up to beyond ridiculous.

Months passed. Israel grew. So did my belly, with Ruby Ann inside.

It soon became obvious that it was pointless to stay in a house where the payment was double the value of the home -- a house that JP's business was outgrowing anyhow. So in November of 2008 -- with newborn baby Ruby along for the ride now -- we packed up everything and moved into a rental home in Dayton, MN.

And there we were for the past 14 months.

Now don't get me wrong, that house was an extreme blessing. When we first moved in, we couldn't believe how much better off we were here than in our Brooklyn Park home. JP had tons more space to operate his business out of. The kids and dogs had a huge yard in which to play and explore. We had all of the benefits of the country while still being 5 minutes away from a Super Target and Chipotle. :)

When I would look around at where we were now living and how far superior it was to life in the city, I was amazed. Because believe me, I mourned the loss of our Brooklyn Park house. I loved that little house. I had every intention of living there all our lives, raising our kids there, etc. I never thought any place could satisfy me if it wasn't my own little house on Daleview Drive.

Turns out I was wrong! What I thought was a horrible, discouraging situation turned out to be a blessing in disguise. We loved living in Dayton, and we both fell in love with being outside the hustle and bustle of the city.

But there was still something missing. While this house had been our home for the past 14 months, its was never technically our home. We rented it. Maybe for some people renting is great, but for us, it was very frustrating. JP is a handyman, and he loves to fix things up and improve. And believe me, when you live in a 1918 farmhouse, there is plenty of things that could use improving. But since it was not our house, it was not worth the investment of our time and money. We even offered to make the improvements if our landlord would simply pay for the materials, but he wasn't interested.

Take, for example, the dishwasher. We moved into that home in November 2008, and one of the very first things I noticed is that the dishwasher didn't work. I called the landlord. He said he'd get it fixed. Weeks went by. I called again. Sorry, he had asked his wife to research it and hadn't heard back from her. He'd ask again. Months went by. I called again. I left voicemails. I sent text messages. Finally, TEN MONTHS LATER he sends a guy out to try to fix the dishwasher. The guy picks it up and takes it to his shop. Two weeks later he returns with the still broken dishwasher. He couldn't get it working. I call the landlord again. He says he doesn't want to pay the money to replace that dishwasher (it's a different size than normal and costs much more). We offer to adapt the cabinet to make room for a regular sized dishwasher. We even ask him to simply give us a dollar amount of how much he wants to spend on a dishwasher and tell him we'll forward the money, we'll pick it up, we'll install it, the price can come out of next months rent, he doesn't have to lift a finger. He says it sounds too good to be true. I assure him it's true, just please give us a dollar amount.

And we never heard back from him again.

See what I mean? FRUSTRATING! Having a landlord is not a good idea for handymen and their families. At least not this one. We missed being homeowners and having the freedom to invest into our home and make it our own. We were thankful for the house where we lived, but the honeymoon phase was definitely winding down.

We felt stuck.

Then one day, JP was listening to the Minnesota real estate show on talk radio. He heard this guy talking about a program through the USDA that helped people with tarnished credit buy homes in the country. It sounded exactly like the opportunity we were looking for, so JP called in to the show and got more information.

The program is called the USDA Rural Development Program. Basically, they want people to move into the country, and they'll go to great lengths to make it happen. You can buy, build, or even move a home, as long as the home meets their requirements for location and condition.

We applied for the program and found out we qualified! Given our situation, we figured we would only be approved for enough money to buy a fixer upper, so we were very surprised when they offered us a $175,000, 33-year loan at 4.8% interest with $0.00 down, AND they were going to subsidize a portion of our monthly payment for the life of the loan.

Our jaws hit the floor. We looked at each other in amazement, then jumped up and down screaming for joy, then got teary-eyed at the overwhelming reality of the door God had just opened for us.

We started our home search right away, because the USDA only gave us a relatively short amount of time in which we had to get an offer accepted, or we'd be disqualified. Our realtor, who happens to be JP's oldest and best buddy, Jono Sathe, started showing us homes right away. We found one pretty quickly that we liked and put in an offer, but it was a short sale. It can take months and months to hear back from the banks when offering on a short sale. We waited as long as we could and asked them for a quick response, but ended up having to pull our offer because we were running out of time.

Next we found a house in Buffalo. The house needed work, (it was actually a dump) but the lot was great and the location was too. We made an offer and it was accepted, but when the USDA came out to approve the property, they rejected it because it was technically a modular home on a foundation, and apparently that doesn't qualify.

We had two back-up properties in case the Buffalo one didn't go through, one in Monticello and one in Big Lake. These were both fine houses that would have been sufficient, but they were just on regular city lots, not on acreage like we had been hoping for. We made an offer on the Monticello house and it was declined.

By this point, we were getting frustrated and we were running out of time. We had looked at a ton of houses and were down to our least favorite option as a last resort. JP and Jon went to see the Big Lake property one more time before writing up an offer, and I went home to do one final MLS search to see if anything new had popped up in the last few days.

And what did I find? You guessed it.


3 bed, 2 bath, vaulted ceilings, walk-in closets, tons of storage, attached garage, huge pole barn with a wood-burning-stove-heated workshop, play house and swing set, all nestled on 5 acres in Princeton. It was exactly what we had been looking for all along.


I told JP & Jono they should check it out. At first they didn't want to, but then they decided it was worth a shot. JP came home beaming and I knew we had struck gold. The guys started writing up an offer. The funny thing was that when I started asking JP about the layout of the house, he couldn't even remember. All he could remember was the lot and the pole barn!

Jono took me & the girls out there the next day, and as luck would have it, we loved it too! Rae announced she wanted this house to be our new house! (I don't think the playhouse had any sway in her decision making process. Just kidding.)

You've gotta understand, people! We didn't think we'd be able to buy another home for years! Let alone a NICE, big home on acreage for ONE THIRD of the cost we were paying in Brooklyn Park. All we can do is stand back and look at all God has done with amazement and thankfulness. In the beginning, everything seemed horrible and hopeless; but now, we're far more blessed than we ever could have imagined.

Trusting God in hard situations can be tough. There's no way we could have known three years ago where we would end up or how we would be surviving now. But as always, He proves Himself faithful time and time again.

The next time you feel stuck, hopeless, or like life is spinning out of control, remember how faithful God has always been to you. He's never let you down before, and He never will. He always comes through with hope.

1.27.2010

So Little Time!

Sorry to all of you faithful blog readers -- I have not had internet to post an update since our move. Now I have internet, but not much time, so I just wanted to let you know that I'll be updating soon! We are loving it here so far, and the community seems very friendly. Tomorrow I'm taking the girls to a local MOPS (Mothers of PreSchoolers) play date at a church nearby. Hopefully we'll make some connections and some new friends to play with!

Here are two photos I can offer you of the house. Rae's room and the kitchen are the only two rooms in the house that are set up enough to be photographed. :)

1.19.2010

"Not Me" Tuesday?



So sorry that I missed "Not Me" Monday yesterday. Turns out I was "not" puking my guts out. Neither was JP. Nor the girls. We were all perfectly healthy.

No, no, I wasn't lying on the couch letting my children do as they pleased. I didn't at one point walk into the kitchen to find all of the dry goods removed from the cabinets and placed into "the ark" (moving boxes) for the animals to eat on their long journey. I was not corrected by my older daughter when I called her by her name: "Actually, Mom, I'm Noah."

I didn't hit the play button on Finding Nemo more than two or three times, nor did I declare bedtime for the entire family at 7:00 pm. Just think, if we had gone to bed that early, we would have gotten more than 12 hours of sleep, which would not have been necessary for my healthy family.

No, I guess there is really no excuse for missing "Not Me" Monday. *sigh*

1.15.2010

Closing day

It is official -- we are homeowners again! The closing went very quickly and smoothly, and we are so thankful. Later I am going to write a post about just how amazing it is for us to be able to buy a home at this point in our lives and how good God has been to us. But that will require me sitting down for a period of time longer than 5 minutes. And since 5 minutes is all I have, this is all you get for now!

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But I will give you some photos of the girls to make you smile.

Last night Rae really wanted to help me cook dinner. I let her, and then she really wanted to create her own meal. So I gave the girls each a pan, a wooden spoon, and I let them create.

At first it was mild -- just some dry pasta & sweet potato puffs. Then Rae started getting more creative. She started adding whatever I would let her add, and she was having a blast.

The finished product looked something like this, but this photo was taken before the end. Things got even more "interesting" from here.

Here is the recipe, in case you'd like to try it out for yourself.

Rae's Special One-Pan Meal

Ingredients:
  • Uncooked Penne pasta
  • Sweet Potato Puffs
  • Rice (cooked and uncooked)
  • Dry split peas
  • Cooked sweet corn
  • Cheerios (Rae used Multi-Grain for a healthier option; you can use whichever variety you like best)
  • Kix (Rae used Honey Kix; again, use your favorite)
  • One package Maple Brown Sugar Instant Oatmeal
  • Plenty of bacon bits
  • Cupcake sprinkles
  • LOTS and LOTS of salt
  • water
  • Apple juice
  • Rice cake crumbles
  • One single-serving packet Carnation Instant Breakfast (vanilla flavor)
Directions:
Combine all ingredients. Stir well. No need to heat, unless your stove is pretend.

Oh...and one more thing. TASTE AS YOU GO! (Yuck!)



Passing On

Early this morning, Uncle Hank peacefully passed on to the better place we're all waiting for.
His pain, gone. His life, full. His memory, cherished forever.
We love you, Uncle Hank. "Say hi to Jesus for us."